For me, it's not about just doing the distance. I already know I can do the distance. And what I want to do is to do the distance WELL. And after a lot of reviewing my training journals, I had to accept that while I'm feeling better, I'm still rebuilding. I'm not 100%. And I don't want to pay a bunch of money just to get a medal. I want to pay a bunch of money to get a medal for running something well.
I still have a month so I can always change my mind, right? But at this point, it's a 90% solid no.
I have done a few longer runs, and I'm finding that:
A) I'm several pounds over where I want to be for racing. RIght now is the right time to work with the nutritionist to nail down the right nutrition for what I"m doing. And as I discovered last summer, messing around with your diet while training is a sure-fire way to make yourself miserable (and sick). So I'll do it right this year.
B) I'm much, much slower than normal. While I'm picking back up, I think a few months of a training plan will help restore my speed to me. In the meantime, I think I'd feel embarrassed in the races, and there's not a good way to let people know that you are rehabbing and that's why you are so slow. I have a friend who did her first 1/2 with a broken hip- very slowly, and with a sign that said "OK to pass- broken hip!" That's just pretty badass. In my case, the sign would just say, "Fine, whatever, pass. Gut rehab, OK?" which is both bad-tempered and TMI.
In the meantime, I'm two days from the end of the strict heartburn elimination diet. I've had a few slip ups, so at least I can say that mushrooms are not a trigger for me. (Yay! I could not live without mushrooms.) I can live happily without broccoli or cauliflower- I just don't LIKE it very much. And the elimination of coffee really seems to have been huge. I have had very few episodes of major heartburn since giving up coffee. So now I wonder if cold-press will give me back the caffeine without the burn.
I'll look forward to adding back citrus, and tomato, to see what happens.
I've been VERY cranky about this elimination diet. I feel like it was easier to have a good outlook on dairy (major impact, within a few days!), but at this point, I just feel like everything keeps getting taken away.
I continue my experiments with grinding my own flour. It's been fun.