Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A picture of snake, and a Gross Triathlete Trick post

Warning: This is a post about gross triathlete things.  How about, first, I'll show you a picture of a snake that I saw on my run?  Then you can make up your own mind about whether to proceed.  

I saw a whole bunch of snakes.  There was a bigger one of these, as well as a really big one that I couldn't tell what he was because I couldn't see his head.  I didn't bug any of them.  They didn't bug me.  Thankfully, I'm not terrified of snakes, otherwise I'd never run on the Fern Ridge marsh again.  

 I've always been among the cleaner triathletes.  I don't try to eat gels while in the water and I've never done an entire bike ride with peanut butter smeared on my face.  (Still grosses me out to THIS DAY!)  I usually clean the mold out of my water bottles when I use them or when my poor long suffering mother notices.  (Whoops.)  

Sure, I pee in the lake like everyone else in the universe does especially as I approach the end of the swim.  (I figure, get it out of the way and move on with your life, right?)  But I've never peed on my bike. 

Yes, my boys at LifeCycle.  Mine is a pee-free frame.  You're welcome.  

I take the hit and stop at a Porta-john like a lady.  

I also usually carry a rag or something to wipe my nose.  I call it a "snot rag" to myself, but to everyone else, I call it a "hankie".  

Ever since giving up dairy, what I thought was my hayfever and grass allergies have almost entirely disappeared.  This is a huge improvement from earlier years, when I rotated through three or four different medicines and took allergy meds for months on end.  Suddenly... almost total disappearance of this symptom.  Which makes me wonder how long I was really having dairy issues for, after all.  I have next to no stuffy nose issues and almost no runny nose, ever, now.  This is usually very handy.  I only take allergy medicine when I'll be out doing an extended workout in the wilds on a day with a really high pollen count.  

Like the other day, when I went on my long run out towards the marshes.  It's a beautiful run.  
(Pretty much dead center, there's this amazing blue heron.)

So close I could see the feathers on his head. 

Alas, I forgot to take my meds.  Which meant I got super-sneezy on that long, very grassy run. 

A human being can only snort so much snot back up before it has to come out somewhere.  

That is how, as I ran along, I found myself contemplating whether a snot rocket was really as bad as I've always thought it would be.  I mean, guys do it all time.  (Guys also spit and scratch their balls, and I don't do that, either, so I do have SOME standards.)  But my nose was SO gross and the path SO deserted.  

So I did it.  I assumed the position and blew a most excellent snot rocket, thereby clearing out my nostrils most excellently.  I did it once more (for the other side of my face) and enjoyed a delightful run after that.  

I am not going to recommend snot rockets for a regular action, and still advise the carrying of a snot rag if one can manage it.  But I suppose this is one more tool for my handy dandy tri toolbox of gross-but-really-handy tricks.  

1 comment:

Reverend Ref + said...

Peanut butter on your face??? Why?