Monday, November 28, 2011

Facebook is Creepy

So I've been struggling with Facebook for a little while now.  On one hand, it is exceptionally useful for staying in touch with my far-flung family and friends.  I love other people's baby pictures and birthday parties, and now that I'm way away on the west coast, I need my fix.

On the other hand, I started my profile for work and have always viewed it as work.  I have at times fallen victim to the Overshare Mentality, but I hope that sites like STFUParents will cure me of my tendency to imagine that my life is all that interesting.  (Just read the Storytime tags if you need to be cured.)

I discovered late yesterday that people could see more of "my" stuff than I'd realized.  Thanks to that annoying feed at the side of the screen, this total stranger could see a personal message my teenage cousin posted on my wall.  I've also discovered that even though I have very strict privacy controls on my account, it doesn't prevent things from showing up if others don't have those controls.  I set all pictures of my nieces and nephews to be visible only to certain family members.  But I found that if my brother doesn't do that, the pictures still go in the public feed.  And then pictures of my baby niece can end up... in that annoying public feed at the side of the screen.
 

I find that creepy.  Why on earth would any stranger be interested in the adorable picture of my very, very cute curly haired niece is beyond me.  I know, I love babies as much as anyone else... but this is a STRANGE baby in a STRANGER'S HOME.

Let's have a little demo:
Appropriate Knowledge for Strangers: knowing that I am married and have no kids.
Response: Let's chat about the weather.
Inappropriate Knowledge for Strangers: knowing what kind of cake my nephew ate for his birthday party.
Response:  Ohmygawd, Creepy Stalker!  (Roundhouse kick to the head.)

Facebook just doesn't seem able to get that... and with every permutation of their site, they seem to share more and more and more public information.  (No, I really don't care what articles my friends read in their online daily local newspaper.)

That explains why I un-familied all my family.  I no longer have Facebook cousins, siblings, aunts or uncles, or a mom.  Sorry, mom.  I'm hoping that maybe this will keep things from showing up in that annoying public feed.

As a priest, I live a weirdly public life.  I get that.  I accept it.  I knew what I was getting into when I signed on to this.  I need to know what my Bishop looks like and to have an easy, casual way to drop a line.  I do not need to know what his brother's kitchen looks like or what his nephew eats for breakfast.

This is the line in the sand that Facebook is crossing.

Facebook is supposed to be about small talk and chit chat.  It crosses a line when it surmises that all relationships are equal.  This just isn't true.  Relationships are essentially different- what I tell my best friend is radically different than the sort of news I'll share with a work colleague or my sister.

Because at the end of the day, I signed up for this.  I knew what I was getting into.  My family supports me (mostly), but they didn't sign up for the public life.  They didn't sign up to have their baby pictures viewed by strangers in North Dakota.  They didn't sign up to have people who are interested in what sort of bread they baked or their theological views on the Rt. Rev. Budde's ordination vestments (my take: the woman needs a good tailor for her vestments, but her command of the cardigan is admirable).  They didn't even really get a choice as to whether or not they would be my family (mostly).

So I have no more Facebook family, in the hopes this might protect them a little more.  Facebook is rapidly becoming the virtual equivalent of the unwelcome drunken neighbor at the Christmas party- the one who brays on in a loud voice in the corner and who we all secretly hope will just either leave or fall asleep in the corner before she embarrasses herself anymore.


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Bike! Turkey! Stuffing!

As I was drifting in and out of sleep this morning, I was dreaming.  I had gotten up as day was dawning to peep out the window- and saw plenty of nice clear sky.

Not the view outside my window, but a similarly clear day.  (Spencer Butte, if you want to go there yourself.)


Clear sky makes me excited.

Dawn makes me tired.  So I went back to bed and back to sleep for a bit.  But I was drifting in and out of dreams.

First I dreamed it was bright and sunny, and in the dream I took my bike out.  Sadly, I replaced the wheels with manhole covers and the handling was terrible.  That'll teach me not to watch Mythbusters too late at night.  Thanks, Adam, for the manhole cover flat tire fix.

Then I dreamed it was raining. I spent that dream putting on all my rain gear and explaining to a duck why it was a good idea to go riding.  The waterfowl in my dreams was quite disapproving.

Also not outside my window, but demonstrating the amount of rain in the dream.  


Then I dreamed it was bright but there were leaves coming down everywhere, burying me and my bike so I couldn't move. Then I woke up enough to realize I was smothering myself in the comforter.  Rearranged, I went back to sleep...

Real Tree in Oregon. 


Where it was raining again.  This time, I decided to take my MTB out and ride trails except I couldn't find my way to the trails so I spent all the dream on the road, on a MTB.  Honestly, that's almost nightmare territory.

Ultimately, when I finally did wake up, it was bright and sunny for real.  It was also 37 degrees.  This explains why I was wearing bright pink longjohns under my jersey and jacket, but I was cozy as a bug in a rug.

(No photos of pink long johns.)

I rode a 20 mile figure 8- down from my house to the Fern Ridge path, then on to the 10-mile loop the tri club did all summer, and then up around 18th.  I love the 10 mile loop since it's scenic, flat and fast.

End of the Fern Ridge Path, looking in the direction of Sisters, which you could see with your eyes
(but not with a camera).



The distorted car cracks me up. 



Sadly for me, my front chain ring is locked up again.  The cable is super-tight.  I know HOW to fix it, but I lacked the finger strength and dexterity in the field.

So I rode that puppy home, on the big ring, in one speed.  That's right- stuck on my big ring, going into the HILLS.

Thank you for existing, Thanksgiving.

By the time I got back, some terrible movie about taxidrivers who beat people up was on.  I enforced Holiday TV Law and got the channel changed to the Macy's parade and the Dog Show and football.  I was saving The Ten from himself, really.  Then I made a huge pot of pumpkin pastina risotto and The Ten (M) and I went over my boss' family's house and we shared a fabulous Thanksgiving meal.
My go-to hostess gift this season: English Cabbage Pickles.


I can never eat anyone else's green beans again.  Those were de-lish-ious.  Wow.

We also discovered Charlotte Russe and Secret Ingredient Pumpkin pie.  We played Creationary and I knitted.  We discussed the website to go to in order to sign up for the Jingle Bell Run.  There are several distance options, but I'm going to 5K this one, since I'm not running it for a PR.  We are going to get The Boss his first PR.

Looking forward to going outside again tomorrow!

Ditching Black Friday, Football Loyalty, and Thankful for...

http://kathybagioni.com/?p=119My mom posted something on her blog about Black Friday.  She gives you a helpful guide for how to get the most out of the day.

I pointed out that the greatest skill on Black Friday is the ability to harden one's hard to the consistency of sandstone.  You know, easy to scratch (so you can feel the bloodlust of the stuff you are at the store in pursuit of) but hard enough to hurt (because you'll need to be dispassionate enough to sucker-punch your own grandmother if she gets to a deal before you).

Poor grandmother.  It goes without saying that no one in my family would ever approve of sucker-punching one's grandmother at any time.  I imagine it would have a seriously detrimental effect on one's future ability to be fed soda and pie.

Years ago, my favorite part of Thanksgiving, was cheering football.  True, basketball season meant we got to do more interesting stunts and routines, but I have always preferred the football season.  The cheer uniforms were cuter, we got to use our giant size poms, and I just like the game better.  Quite aside from it being great fun, it usually meant I could justify more pie.

These days, my football loyalties have settled on the U of O Ducks and the Redskins of my beloved DC.  My other dedication in football is leading the charge on Anti-Patriot-ism.  I loathe the Patriots with a deep dark loathing deep in my heart and I don't care how well you think Tom "Same Haircut as Justin Bieber" Brady plays.  My new dream in life is to corrupt my Junior Warden's daughter.  He loves the Patriots and is leading her down that dark path.  There may still be hope for her soul.

In the category of things I am thankful for, I'm definitely obeying the orders of a friend of mine to enjoy the use of my legs.  She would definitely want me to get out there tomorrow morning and bike or run somewhere and enjoy it.  So I give thanks for a functional body (even with that persistently achy and tight hip- where's my foam roller!) and might go run the Holli tomorrow.  (That's my 5K route that I named after her.)  I want to go on a little bike ride, but I'm a little leery of the many wet leaves down and scared of imminent crashes.  The Ten (formerly M) went running with me today for a 28 minute 5K.

And you know what?  I'm thankful that my life consists of having tomorrow off duty.  I'm thankful for  friends who come from the entire political and religious spectrum and actually like all of them for reasons that have nothing to do with their politics or religion.  I'm thankful to be among the community here in Eugene, and to work with awesome people in what might be the happiest parish I have ever been in.

There's a lot to be thankful for this year.




Sunday, November 20, 2011

1:00:00 wall... bye bye.

For the record...

58:14 for today's 10K.  I appeared a little sad (ok, extremely sad) at the finish, as I misunderstood the clock and thought the clock was my official time.  (I came through at 1:11:something.)  The clock, however, showed the time for the HALF MARATHON.

So for a long time, I was all downtrodden and sad thinking I had run a 1:11-plus 10K.  (And I had thought I was pacing so WELL today!)

Man, am I glad I decided to check the posted race results up near the EWEB building, as I wanted to know my exact time to post in my great sadness.  I went to the results and just couldn't find my name anywhere in the 1:11's.

Then my speed-reading eyes caught a glimpse of my last name... on the next page up.  I had found M's name next to a time of 1:00:04!  I had come through a few minutes ahead... so hardly daring to hope, I raised my eyes a little higher...

And started squealing like a little girl!  There it was- 58:14!!!

Whoo hoo!

Salve for the soul on this weekend when the Ducks lost (so sad!) and Stanford won (meaning the Ducks lost twice because the league championship was gone, gone, gone) and the Redskins were run over the Evil Cowboys.

Now to sign up for the next race... my boss is soon to run his very first 5K.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Home Improvement and that 1:00:00 10K Wall

Tomorrow, I am planning to run the EWEB Race to Stay Warm 10K.  I know I am super-serious about this race because I passed up the opportunity to buy the T-shirt for $25 extra dollars.  I am once more chasing my 10K 1:00:00 wall.  At Nation's, I was 1:00:05, so I can taste a sub-1:00 10K.  If I can avoid the cramps and keep well fueled, I'll be good.  I hope.

Meanwhile, I have been sort of busy on vacation.  In addition to sleeping very late, staying in my jammies until irresponsible hours, reading two books so far, and reactivating my dormant Netflix account, I finally decided to be responsible enough to clean the bathroom and mop the floor.  Such is the sexy life of the Vagabond, who has not yet located a well-recommended cleaning service here in Eugene.

I have a few actual big projects, though.    

Several months ago, the Pilgrimage class held a Parking Lot Sale as their big fundraiser.  It has brought in over $4400, and I scored a leather couch and this.
Its general vibe is Man-Cave Spec-TACK-ular.  The price was right ($4) and the wood was solid, but I knew from the moment I saw it that it would get refinished like nobody's business.

I like the look and character of wood, and I didn't want to bother replacing the smoky grey tempered glass, so I decided to strip the finish and thought of going to bare wood and re-staining, perhaps in a driftwood grey.  You know, all beachy and boho in my discombobulated house.
The large square block is the top of my pulpit-bookcase.  While I'm still waiting for the shelves to turn up and considering if it should be a pulpit-winerack-bookcase, the stripping cream worked like a charm on that piece, and it came out perfectly.  I stained it a lovely reddish brown, and a little polyurethane later, it is simply glowing with coolness.

Three further applications of goop to the coffee table later and I had concluded that the previous stain job was just never going to get me to bare wood. The stain had penetrated unevenly.  Not only was the stain uneven, but to get to bare wood, I'd either need serious patience, or decent power tools.  I have little patience, and my power tools consist of a drill.

When I did previous projects, I had a nearby father who owned several lifetimes worth of power tools.  And I always suspected he snuck into his workshop between visits and did touchups on spots I missed.  With no dad here to do that, it was all me and my coffee table.


This was after much sanding and goop applications.  It was never going to be stainable again.

So I set up for Plan B in my dedicated home improvement space:

Why, yes, that IS my dining room.  I have since de-cluttered the hutch a little.

And everyone needs good lighting for the sewing machine...
Like the kitchen.

This is hard-core home improvement, people.  All you slackers with dedicated workrooms and garages... fear me.  Martha Stewart already does.  And that weeping sound you hear is my poor sainted mother wondering how she gave birth to a child who thinks it is proper to sew in the kitchen.

I wonder if my mom realizes I laid out her quilt on my kitchen counter?  That is a HARD-WORKING COUNTER, there, babies.

Then I went to Lowe's and picked out several delightful colors of paint.  I had gotten a nice fabric to replace the magazine sling with.  Bye-bye ugly leather-and-canvas man-cave thing.  I have a print now.  As always with paint, it took several trials to figure out which one would actually WORK in my space.  The lighting at Lowe's is totally different than here.  So what looked like a soft driftwoodsy grey there was gun-metal here.  And that cranberry red was actually hot pink translucent.  (Ew.)

I settled on what had been a beigey brown there that actually is a grey with brown undertones- exactly what I was shooting for but didn't look like it.

It may also be that the paint guy is clueless and screwed up.  But it worked.

The primer was $8.  But I was able to get a sample size of paint- those little half-pint sizes you can get for $2.94.  So total for the project was under $10.

And here is our "new" coffee table.

Ever put up a photo and realize that you didn't clear the background of said photo AT ALL?  Like this.  

The couch and the table.  Ahhh.  

Cue the whining from all those who will tell me how I bastardized the beautiful wood and destroyed the character of the man-cave classic.  I'm just pleased that now I have a coffee table I can live with that fits the house.  Next up- replacing the Ikea Poang footstool with storage cubes and demonstrating the power of design to my poor addled husband who doesn't understand the grievous visual impact of clashing wood.


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Vagabond Vacation

I guess we must be into those famous grey days here in Oregon.  It rained yesterday, hard enough that I actually looked at the rain boots.  I think it might not be a bad idea to get a pair.  I DO have Wellies, but those are Serious Hardcore wellies- green and everything- and hardly suitable for running errands.  But if you need anyone to muck out your horsestall, call me.  I am so your girl.

While on vacation I have been doing home improvement projects.  Among others things, we still haven't hung many pictures and I still have most of my jewelry sitting in a canvas shopping bag, as my jewelry holder was destroyed in the move.  (Oh, packers, how efficiently destructive you are.)  My projects for these two weeks:

-replace jewelry holder, hopefully by making one from repurposed items around house.  This is not because I am design savvy but because I am frugal.

-refinish the coffee table.
Found at the Parking Lot Sale for 4$, we are trying to take this from Man Cave to Living Room.  

-make cover for the piano, finally ceding the win to the cats and admitting they will always jump on my piano no matter where it is.

They love jump on my piano with their dusty little feet.  It doesn't matter where it is located.

-knit rag rug.
So far, so good.  This is made from the duvet cover that the kitties tore a hole in.  Hmmm... since getting married, between M and the cats, my things have a much shorter life expectancy.  Boys are destructive.


Bike riding is a little complicated at the moment.  After the last crash resulted in crutches and a bruise that lasted over a month, I find myself in the usual stage of post-crash road-shy.  I have had all three bikes out since the crash, but in the last week, the leaves have finally started coming down in earnest.  I'm a little nervous about hitting a patch of leaves and wiping out.  Of course, on wet roads and wet leaves, the road rash probably wouldn't be that bad. But what about the Giant Black Dogs of the Leaf Piles?  You know, the ones lying in wait in leaf piles to leap up and devour hapless little girls who jump into the leaf piles.

I might always suspect that was just a myth made up by a mean neighbor who didn't want me jumping in his leaf piles on the way home from school.

And on wet trails... between mountain lions and those steep drop offs, I think I'll wait to ride with buddies for a bit.



On Sunday, I'm running the EWEB Race to Stay Warm.  There's a 5K, 10K, and Half-marathon option. I picked the 10K with the aim of finally breaking my 10K 1:00 hour wall.  My last 10K was 1:00:05.  Just five seconds off, and that was after a 40K bike and in hot sun with humidity.  This is looking to be cool, and I'll be fresh.  Unfueled morning 5Ks are running me at 27-29 minutes these days, so I think this bodes well.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Life in the Southwest Hills: Running, no Bricks

I live in the southwest hills .  This means I live a little higher than regular Eugene, up a few hills.  This bodes wells for many things.

Among other benefits, the zombies in the zombie apocalypse will have to climb hills to get to my place, which I think means that I stay safer longer.  Plus, I have a great view.  Of the hills, I mean, not of the zombies which don't exist.  But if they did, I'd have a great view of them, too.

I also have "running buddies" like these...


These are the wild turkeys which live in the woods surrounding my complex.

I took off on a run this morning not running for time or distance, but just to get the pre-vacation jitters out. You know, the ones you get when you feel very ready yet totally unprepared for vacation.  So I went out and up the hills.  My regular 5K route goes downhill and loops into the flats, meaning the cooldown portion (post 5K) is the only bit that goes back uphill.  So going up the hills in the beginning means I run even higher into the hills and end up covering some very, very steep territory.

Today was 50 degrees out so a decent day.

I need to get some swim time in- so far, I think we only have pool access at 6AM Wednesday and 7AM Saturday and I am realizing that I just really hate those kinds of hours.  Argh.  But I need the swim time, so I might not have a choice, eh?

Bike time is decent.  I took the Bambino out on the roads the other day.  With a saddle adjustment (coming forward about an inch and a half), I feel much more balanced and centered... I'm back to lifting the Bambino over obstacles like train tracks and curb bumps.  I have lost all faith in my ability to either cross tracks or bunny hop curbs on the Bambino, ever.  I think Bambino needs to stay two wheels to the ground at all times, period.  It was a fast ride, though- my computer showed me pacing 18mph plus most of the way.

The eating tracking has also been interesting.  I'm discovering that I have no problem with carbs, but keeping my fat low is a challenge.  It's very easy to think "Cheese!  Nuts!  Protein!" and not just protein, but TASTY protein!  Of course, the healthy thing to do is to throw some chicken breast on my salad, but here's the thing... I just don't like chicken breast all that much.  It's not that I won't eat it... it's just not what I think of eating, given the choice.

What I do think of eating are sandwiches.  Perhaps a nice cheese sandwich.  And what's a pizza but an open faced cheese sandwich smeared with pureed vegetables?

Sadly, that kind of thinking, while accurate according to the statistics that I make up, is not cutting it with the hard, cold, thoroughly unfeeling app on my phone that tells me that pizza has too much fat and carbs for me to call it a good protein source.

This kind of cold hard truth is making it very difficult to figure out what to eat these days.  But I had so better benefit from it come Sunday, when I run EWEB's Race to Stay Warm.



Thursday, November 10, 2011

Going to Convention as an Honest Woman

Have I mentioned that I'm running the EWEB 10K on the 20th, along with several other triclub members?  Yeah.  I'm chasing that sub-1:00 10K wall yet again.  I'm 5 seconds away... just 5 seconds!  Which means I need to eat well, since the lighter I am, the faster I am.  Meanwhile...

I am going to Diocesan Convention this afternoon.  It's where the Diocese (the geographic collection of a bunch of Episcopal Churches) gets together to hobnob with our cool Bishop (who wears Vans), hear some presentations, have some fellowship, and vote on various resolutions that will hopefully help govern our common life.  I'm not canonically resident at this point- meaning the Bishop of Connecticut is still the Bishop in charge of me- but Oregon has given me "courtesy of the floor" which means I'll be able to at least sit with the uber-cool delegation from St. Mary's.

They decided that they'd wear Ducks sweaters one day.  So now I have to go visit a parishioner who works at the Duck Store and get her to help me pick out an awesome Ducks sweater.  My job is so awesome like that.

I also cleaned my kitchen counters today so it looks so clean and tidy and I feel like a Responsible Adult.  SCORE!

In other news: I've been tracking what I eat this week.  Loseit has really updated its app which makes it a hundred times easier to use.  (The last time I tried it, I had to enter things like tempeh as "custom foods".)  I've also discovered Sparkrecipes where I can enter some of my own recipes from home, and it'll give me the break down.  So far, it's been helping me to decide if it's time to throw in more tofu to that dish or not.

Usually, it is.

Luckily, I love tofu.  As in, I'll eat it raw right out of the package.

Please don't judge me.

I was happy at the nutrition consult to discover I was down a solid 7 pounds from my all-time-high weight in CT.  (It is such a sad number I won't even share, but let's just say my loosest pants were too tight and my favorite pants were hopeless.)  So over the winter, I'm hoping to slowly let my weight settle at a healthy sustainable number... one where I can maintain a healthy number without too much pain.

For the record, that is about 40% carbs, and 20% fat, and 30% protein.  So far, my best day was yesterday when I hit 50% carbs, 25% fat, and 25% protein.  It's a work in progress.

And now I will go to Convention, where I shall endeavor to eat according to plan while eating convention food.

Monday, November 7, 2011

What Triathlete Priests Do As Winter Approaches

The other week, I went to Sisters, OR for a retreat with the ECW.
This is what Lake Suttle looks like.  And yes, I did think:  Open water... running trail... wide open roads...
who else is thinking TRAINING SERIES?  


We focused on the theme of miracles, led by a lovely retreat leader.  She's a novelist.  I am constantly amazed at the incredible people here.  It goes to show that my psyche is settling down... and perhaps how warped my evil brain had become.  Working in the trauma hospitals for the last 4 or so years, I had started to think that everyone who came in was insane and/or hiding a meth addiction, at least.  I had lost my perception of normal.  Trauma hospitals really do warp your sense of reality.

I'd forgotten there were normal people out in the world.  Being back in the "regular world",  is like finally taking a deep breath after swimming under water for a while.

I do love chaplaincy... but I'm not called to general medicine.  Hmm... it's an interesting project, figuring out how to live out one's call as a chaplain when certain avenues of chaplaincy are closed and one still loves the parish.  I mean, you really can't beat the flexible schedule and the fun to be incredibly creative with the writing and the teaching.  And how many jobs come with a soundtrack of little kids playing music down the hall?  The jingle bells may be cacophonous, but they are not boring.

On the way home from the Sisters retreat, I took the chance to drive over the McKenzie pass.  Each winter, the pass closes due to snow.  Each spring, they open the pass to cyclists about a month before it opens to cars.  I wanted to see how steep it was and think about which angle I might want to approach it from.  I'm thinking a Sisters approach and descent off the other side.  I don't know if this is kosher, and I'm sure real hard core climbers would go up and down both sides, stopping only on the top for a drink of mountain-fresh rain water.
Lava fields!  Sisters is a bunch of volcanoes!  I live near volcanoes now!

Heck to that.  I would climb up, sit down at the top, and eat me a sandwich.  Then I'd descend the other side, rack my bike, and go home and devastate every carbohydrate in the town of Eugene.



Anyway... now that tri season is officially in the "getting ready for next season" stage, we have officially joined the Multisport Advantage training center.  I went to TRX class the other day and Coach Cristina taught me a move called "The Pike".  You put your feet in straps, put your hands on the ground, and pull your hips up so your body is in the shape of a V, while you envision yourself in Cirque Du Soleil.  I wish I could blame my pathetic performance on my still-sore hand and elbow, but the reality is that my abs are mush these days.  That might have been the single most painful ab exercise I have done since high school.

For the winter, my goal is to try to whittle the rest of this CT pudge.  I'm down a solid seven pounds since we moved, and that was eating like a horse.  (I tried eating Paleo style, but with the endurance work, I really needed those carbs.  There's just no other way to fuel for long bike rides and runs.)  So I had a nutrition evaluation.  The Coach gave me the sad news that chocolate-chip-yogurt-bowls aren't necessarily the BEST idea every night, and so I'm going to be virtuous for a while.
For a lecture, one parishioner made this for dessert.  

For the Needle Arts Guild Potluck, I made these.  (Crustless quiche cups).  
Oh, virtue, I suffer so.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

St. Mary's Project: Update

Just a quick update:

The gracious note we received.  You are welcome to stop by if you'd like to see it as well. 


We've received word from Concerns of Police Survivors via a lovely thank you note from another survivor that the St. Mary's check was received and that it would help many people.  I had the chance to touch base with another member of the COPS organization who could tell me a little more about how the monies have gone directly to helping the Kilcullen family.  Ofc. Kilcullen's widow has already been sent to the spouses' retreat, and COPS is getting ready to send her and her family to National Police Memorial Week in May.  The money St. Mary's donated is helping make that easier.

One of the elements of this project that I loved is how many people from all over the parish donated:  there were people who donated who are not necessarily fans of police and who question constantly the role of law enforcement because this is Eugene and questioning authority is just a fact of life... but they still donated to this project because they felt strongly about supporting a family in our community, and because they believe that God would want them to reach out to others who suffer.

I think we are tremendously lucky in our Eugene officers.  And I am tremendously lucky to have been called to be a part of this community where we can disagree on philosophy, but still come together to do to others what we would want others to do for us.