Monday, July 18, 2011

In Pursuit of Carbs: the 5 Mile Run Home

I live approximately 5 miles from work.  Actually, according to the bike computer, it's 4.96 miles.  This was confirmed yesterday by my Nike shoe-iPod doohickey.  I'm usually on the bike trails three to five days a week, where I can see interesting things like an entire family of raccoons going for a swim, or the local pot smokers.  Will someone please tell the pot-smokers that patchouli oil does NOT COVER POT SMELL?)

Anyway, yesterday morning, I woke up and began my usual morning routine.  Don't worry, I'm not one of those people who wakes up, turns on happy music, and does rock yoga or something cheerful like that.  Nothing works.  Morning is a horrible time populated by evil demons, and thus is best experienced from under your covers while your eyes are screwed tightly shut.  I get a lot of mental exercise by calculating just how many times I can hit snooze before I must get up.

Because of the preceding anti-morning prejudice, the discovery of no milk in our fridge was not acceptable, as my brain is incapable of morning coherence.  No coffee means either make tea, or drink coffee black?  Both of those involve verbs and subjects and thinking, and usually I'm lucky to be capable of boiling water.

This means that M was woken up from a dead sleep at 6:50.  He is even crankier than I, but I figured that if I whispered "Full City" it would get him going.

We were on the road by 7:05.  For a man who makes a damn good cup of coffee, he does love his coffee shops.

I brought my running clothes with a plan of running home.  5 miles, often flat, with a few killer uphills at the end.  What could go wrong?  (Answer: rain is only "going wrong" if you are not prepared for it.  I had no rain gear, but it was just a misty rain and this IS Oregon, so the rain=acceptable.)

How do I get motivated after 4 services?  Well......... did I mention there was a baptism at church?  Where there is baptism, there is cake.  Oh, and a wedding the night before.  More cake.  And a birthday.  CUP-cakes.  And someone made brownies.  HOMEMADE BROWNIES!  I have found that people tend to put cake in the priest's hands automatically.  So I can intend to get a carrot or a cup of tea and be super healthy, but the cake appears so magically, and it would be so very, very sinful to waste food, right?  Besides, chocolate comes from a bean, and beans are vegetables.  And services give me low blood sugar.

Oh, magical, magical carbs.  You fill me with your sugary goodness and make my soul experience light and joy.

Can I share that I'm having a hard time with the high-protein, no-bread-or-processed-sugar thing?  Oh, I suffer, so very very much.  On the bright side, since I'm not eating processed carbs anymore, just a little bit of them is enough to make me feel full.  And my pants are a lot looser.  And I think I'm faster, too...

Besides, I get to eat cake, and then run, and feel virtuous.  I keep my halos at work so they stay shiny.  

The run went quite well- I reeled off 5.1 miles (remember, I live 4.96 miles from church, door to door, so I added a lap around my complex to get that last .04 in) in 51 minutes.  The first two miles were at an 8:30 pace, then two at a 9:30-10:30 pace where I had to wait for a few crossing signs or where I didn't like my iPod song and slowed down until I fixed it.

Then the last mile is essentially vertical.  The homeowners' associations around here are responsible for maintaining the cable lines, but all the residents own their own crampons.  In some areas, there are chains or catapults to get cars over the very steepest portions in town.  The buttes that surround us look just like Talcott Mtn did back east.  So I slowed way down to an 11-something pace for the last mile because I was going up a hill like Half-Dome or Everest.   

Today I have declared a rest day.  I dreamed all night that I was a soigneur in the Tour de France, and responsible for the hotel rooms and food bags of the Schleck brothers, Thomas Voeckler, and Jens Voigt.  I don't think they are on the same teams, but that does not matter to my subconscious.  I also don't know much about any of them, except they ride bikes, and I ride bikes, and I guess they are my best buddies because we all ride bikes and if they came out here to Eugene, they could ride bikes with me and all my bike riding friends.

In my dreams, they ate a lot of roast beef and PB&J.  Even my dreams are low-carb these days.  Suffice it to say, I worked HARD for my REM sleep, so I've double-earned my rest day today.  I'll be working on press releases and stuff.

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