Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Evil Doin' Chaplain

While the rest of my angelic clergy colleagues are at renewal day renewing their ordination vows, I stayed home.  I thought I had a tax appointment with my tax man, and I had a doctor's appointment, and it's raining so hard, I have been afraid to go to the gym for two days because I don't own a kayak.  I don't know how my mother is getting out of her house, since she lives at the top of a hill, but I suspect it must be like white water rafting to get to the bottom.  Oh, how sick I am of rain!  It feels like it rained all last spring and summer, too...


Anyway, would you like to know how evil I am?  Today, I realized I had not received an income tax statement from my student loan company.  I own them several thousand dollars.  I automated my bank to pay my bills for me, so it's automatic, and I don't have to think about it.  Writing too many bills checks makes me cry and then demand we give ourselves allowances of $5 a week and never spend another cent.  Since our budget DOES allow for expenditures such as groceries and gas, M prefers the automated payment thing since it keeps me sane. So the bank pays the bills and I don't really think about it.


Until I realized I needed that interest statement to deduct from my income taxes.  No problem.  I called the company.


The entire phone call lasted about 45 minutes and consisted of me asking a two word question, and receiving a long lecture in response.  I am an irresponsible, vaguely criminal scofflaw ne'er-do-well who has no sense of personal responsibility and obviously didn't understand that a promissory note means I must repay the loans in question.  You see, I was seriously delinquent on my account.  I was 16 days over due on my account.  My account is so far overdue, they gave me a whopping penalty. And I must understand that this sort of thing will not stand and that I better understand that I cannot cheat the US Government.


My account was underpaid by .03 cents.


My penalty is .87 cents.


She offered me a forebearance for financial hardship.  I said no, and adjusted my automated bank payment to cover the .87 cents.


True story.  Sadly.  My brother-in-law, N, let me know that this sort of thing is why banks fail.  I wonder if I'll get royalty checks if they name the recession after me, since it is ALL my fault.

No comments: