Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What does rhythm look like?

I worked two jobs for so long that I became used to working pretty much all the time. M was the guy who lived here who I got mad at when there was no laundry and no groceries, since it seemed to fall to him to do all those sorts of about-town chores. On rare occasions, I could venture out to a store: either Whole Foods on the way home from the gym, or very occasionally to the Stop and Shop in the next town. Yes, pathetically, this constituted "time off" for a long time. As in, "Hey, I have two hours off. Want me to meet you and help you shop?"

Today, I went to the store all alone, did the grocery shopping, replaced my Stop and Shop card, and came home and cooked. I made more jalapeno poppers (I had extra filling), quiche with homemade crust, and broccoli soup. It was served with gimlets. Yes, it did feel all sorts of domestic.

I am still fighting this feeling of guilt that I should be working on something. I've worked for so long I don't really know what not working feels like. Of course, having many friends who travel for work or who are writing dissertations, I hope you can fill me in on what it feels like to have time off. Is it really normal to have time to cook?

In funny news, I showed M my new pair of Danskos, my favorite comfy shoe. I could live in Danskos at work. People say they are indestructible. I've destroyed at least three pairs now. On one pair (a Mary Jane), the metal buckle gave way under the pressure of the constant walking I do. M looked at my latest pair of clogs, and said, "Oooo! They're irridiscent! I wasn't expecting that!" I laughed and asked him what he had been expecting... "Well, nothing, really, I had no idea. I thought they were going to be shoes." So I completely superseded his non-expectations. They are oil slick color patent leather clogs, by the way, and my feet are happy. For now.

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