In the category of "Worst Chaplain Ever":
As many of you know, I serve as a staff chaplain in a level 1 trauma center. When I do on calls, I cover the whole hospital, including units I don’t usually go to. Tonight took me to a unit I never see except on a pre-op visit.
I visited a patient who said, “Oh, chaplain? Of course, please come in!” Except that her light was off and the privacy curtain partly drawn and behind her half drawn curtain, hidden, because someone did not want people to see it was there, was her commode. Which was very, very full.
The dark room and the drawn curtain explain how, as I entered, I managed to kick the commode and sent its foul contents all over the freakin' floor. This resulted in the patient saying, “Oh, please, pray for me…” until she smelled what had happened. And then she started screaming at me.
Try explaining that one to the floor staff. (And obviously, I am spoiled in the ED when we just call Environmental Services and they rush right over and do their thing. The floor had to call the main department and wait, and wait, and wait.)