Sunday, January 24, 2010

Don't you think REI should hire me?

Well, the question has been begged often. As I finished the last Annual Meeting I will do with Epiphany, lots of folks wanted to know what I was going to do with all my now-free time.

I think REI should call me up and offer me a part-time job, preferably in the bike department. Camping stuff would be my second-favorite area.

I do still have a grad student in the house, and he will be stopping work at some point, and it is up to me to keep in the style in which he is accustomed while he works on his thesis. While some may think that means he will recline on the couch, thinking deep thoughts and wearing a toga, while I hand-feed him grapes, allow me to reassure you that it really means that he will be banished to the study or the library where he will write until his eyes fall out of his head and he will eat nice, yummy homemade sandwiches and bento boxes. Please encourage him to stay away from the fried chicken. But keeping him in groceries costs money. And REI has a great selection of energy-boosting Clif bars. So REI benefits me directly, don'cha think?

Meanwhile, I'm just not used to working just 40 hours a week- I've never done it in my life, and I'm not about to start now. So they'd gain a minor workaholic, and I'd get to wear jeans and a cute little REI vest to work. I like wearing jeans.

The hospital with the trauma drama is great, but it's hard, sucker-punched-in-the-gut work many days. Yet I have all these highly honed skills in listening to what people are saying, both their spoken story and their meta-story. I look for the "altars" in their lives to discern what they want to say without saying it.

That's right, baby... let me hear your meta-story. Then we'll talk bikes and finger all the gear and I'll hear what you want to say but can't bring yourself to say... that you need this new carbon fiber piece of sweet goodness. And that's good for the bottom line, ain't it? Not to mention that as you come in and buy gear to replace the gear you ruined in your various crashes, I am trained in helping minimize your post-traumatic stress reactions.

Wow, wouldn't that be great? I could help climbers and bikers and hikers talk through their fears and worries and become happier, less stressed, and de-traumatized outdoorspeople... meaning they'll want to buy more stuff. And then they will go outside and have more adventures. And then I will fulfill my goal of making them happy, and therefore, I will be super-happy too.

So trust me, REI... you want me!

PS- Yes, of course I'm planning on being back on the bike soon. I'm working hard indoors on a trainer and doing lots of hard hand therapy to regain my strength. As soon as the roads clear up, I plan to start trying road rides again. I will be registering for the Mad River Century very soon, and I'm waiting to see if my brother-in-law wins a spot in the Leadville 100. No, I'm not riding that one, are you insane? I just want to WATCH it. There's lots of good riding out there, and I am going to get me a piece of it!

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