Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tired out and ungrateful!

I had a lovely conversation with a patient yesterday. She is recovering from an illness that has threatened her ability to live independently. And she said, "I always used to be grateful... and I am grateful... just not now!" I held up my splinted hand, and said, "Let me tell you, I am so not feeling grateful today, either!" She laughed then, kicked the Nurse Practicioner out of the room, and we had a prayer for God to grant us the people around to carry us through these times.

Let me tell you, I'm so not grateful now. I've been having a lot of pain and after describing my issues to the spcialist, he moved my follow up, "let's see if you are healing so you don't need surgery" appointment up since they don't like what they are hearing. I do not feel good right now and I do not like this. I have work to do and I actually like my jobs despite the attempts of some folks to convince e that I shouldn't like them, and I want to tell these bones to stop playing, stop hurting, and heal as fast as the bruises.

And after a week of getting by on my own I guess I felt that when M returned, all that would be so easy. M would cook, clean, scrub the tub, wash the cats, fold my clothes, and basically make things right.

I was not counting on M returning from research totally exhausted from a week of 24 hour work, stuffed so full of playa dust that he was still sneezing it out last night, and jet-lagged out of his skull. He's like me after Police Week, and who else in the world has the right to work so hard but me? Hello! (ummmmmmm.... perhaps there's a message to me here...) So we became a house of two sickies when I thought he'd descend off the plane ala Mary Poppins.

On one hand, that is a testament to my perception of his abilities in regular life.

On the other, it sure shows that real life invades my happy dreamworld at times!

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