I felt rather depressed for a while. I mean, my only real life goal by this point was to survive and to become a reasonably productive member of society. Being that I run around with people who carry guns and get in scuffles for a living, I think I've done decently. No major work-related injuries, and the last broken nose was thanks to my late dog. I haven't managed to break anything in the last few years, and have successfully not caused any fires, car accidents, or dropped innocent babies for a few years now. I'm about to finish my taxes. And I recently realized that all my awesome friends are turning 30 with me! All those girls from Leach 1st floor are with me! So, survive, and become reasonably productive. Mission accomplished.
But what now? I'm a 7 on the Enneagram scale. We are always looking for the new adventure in life. I do confess to feeling stagnated in Connecticut. It feels so same-old. I have said about three times a week that I'm moving back to Virginia (thanks to CT's horrible winter!), but I know that I left Virginia for good reasons. Grad school for M, the chance to work for Bishop Smith in THIS diocese, the chance to be closer to family and see if they like me any more. (Secretly, I think my family is on a mission to convince me to buy a house and start having babies. It's kind of depressing, really, to realize that they seem to expect me to be the Priest all the time. They look at me funny when I swear, drink a second glass of anything, or make a superstitious gesture. And then expect I will fulfill all the family religious rituals. PRESSURE!)
I've been dreaming weird dreams lately. I have always dreamed VERY vivid dreams. I've always been able to dream lucid dreams. But lately, I'm finding dreams full of silver keys, that I put into locks and turn with all my might... but they won't unlock. What's behind those locks? What's there? What's waiting? What's next?