Paris Hilton, you have heretofore never occupied a cell of my brain, but now, honey, you are golden to me. Whenever you show up somewhere in whacked-out looking clothes, I will defend it by pointing out your involvement in this ad. Whenever you get arrested and sent to a day or so in jail, I will send good karma your way just because you did this ad. Whenever anyone has the nerve to call you a dumb blonde, I will totally point out that even if the Funnyordie people wrote it, you had the brains to be IN it.
For that, my dear, you are my hero.
Readers, you must click on this link right now. And don't sip any liquids for a few minutes.